i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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