its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
