where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
