Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
