Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
