I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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