if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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