is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
it hurts more in the daytime
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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