That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
