I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
