birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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