the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
