Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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