haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
