paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
