It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
