there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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