Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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