yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
