47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
