When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
