jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
