Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
they're like a gay fantastic four
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
