she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
