I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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