I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
