i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The Olympian is in my bed
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