please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
