Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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