very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
