Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
