What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
