Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
