At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
