i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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