Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
