i don't like sucking hair
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
They are going to name an STD after you.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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