Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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