Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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