You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
