i just google imaged poop.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
