I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
