We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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