your room smells of hookers.
And success
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
