Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
