I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
