I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
