I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
