I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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