Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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