I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
