once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
