2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
4 words: hood of his car
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
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