Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Hippo gnu deer
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
