Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
