Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
