bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
