Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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