WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Dear god my vagina.
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